The End Of The Nerd Era

It is the end of an era. Today is my last day working with nerds. Next week I'll start working with college kids and cute girls and guys who work out at the gym a lot. Today is my last day surrounded by suspender-wearing nerd robots, and I have to admit it, that makes me really sad. I love these nerds. My heart is filled to bursting when I think of these geeks and how much they have brought to my life. Things like this, for example, from a nerd's trip to DisneyWorld (he said it made him think of me):

But already life is so much better! As much love as I have in my heart for my sweet geeks, I can't deny the sheer joy I feel every day that I get closer to being finished. When I said earlier I hadn't had a project in six months, I wasn't kidding. I haven't had anything to do, anything at all, for six months. So what did I do all that time? Well, I'll tell you. I surfed the Internet.

Last Christmas, when I was the Executive Secretary of R&D and had an office and a door and the engineers I worked with routinely called me "Mom," I bought a leg lamp at the local Rite Aid, you know, Christmas Cheer and all that stuff. A few weeks later, Ed Schweitzer, President of SEL and all-around boob, happened to walk by my office and see the lamp. He said it was inappropriate and insisted that I take it home. (Yes, the same Ed Schweitzer who made the joke about old man penises in front of me in a very small elevator--"gravity makes it longer but harder to get up," yes yes, the very same. Classy.) So I took it down, but not without a bit of good-natured ribbing, of course. Any chance I'd get, well into January even, I'd mention my leg lamp to my boss. It would drive my new boss crazy.

"Don't bring up that lamp anymore!"

And so the leg lamp went home to live with the rest of my Christmas items in storage. This Christmas when I was decorating, I just didn't have the heart to put the lamp anywhere. It didn't seem right in my house with my Christmas tree, being all cute and kind of funny. It was wrong. The lamp no longer symbolized Christmas Cheer, it was now a symbol of my righteous indignation! So I left that leg lamp in the box in my living room. And every day when I passed it, I thought, Someday, Natalie, someday that lamp will have its revenge........

Today was my last day. I rolled in about ten, because coming in any earlier on your last day is just silliness, and then, leg lamp in tow, I marched myself over to my boss's desk, plugged that sucker in, and placed it high and proud on the corner of his cubicle.



While I was arranging it just-so, one of the nerdiest nerds at SEL came over to see what I was up to. I explained the story, and he nodded his head. "I had a lava lamp they made me take down," he said. "This place is too serious."

And then he walked on his nerdly way back to his nerdy desk. I felt complete. I felt good.

It is the end of an era. And I ended it on my terms.