An Assortment Of Thoughts For A Tuesday

I have an intrepid blogging team. My blogging team is made up of me, Peter Pan, and The Holbs. Me because I write it (obvs), Peter Pan because he stares at me while I type, and The Holbs because once I have posted I shout It's up! and then The Holbstar reads it from the front part of the house while I wait anxiously from the back part of the house for news on whether it will do. Then The Holbs says Not bad! or Could be better! or sometimes all I get is Uhhhhh and that is when I know my post has gotten too long, because The Holbs is famous in our house for not reading things I write that get past three paragraphs.

Usually my blogging team is like unto a well-oiled machine, but only lately The Holbs has been eyeing my blog like an eagle eyes a mouse in a field. Did you get any new comments? he asks, like, all day. On the plus side, The Holbsabomber no longer has plans to explode up the Internet, but the pressure! You are called Nat The Rat but there aren't actually any rats on your blog, he says, frowning, and, Are you losing followers?

On Friday it got to be too much, and I unceremoniously kicked him off the team, just like that, don't let the door hit you and et cetera. So now I have an opening in my blog board of trustees. Would you care to apply?

Duties: Read my grossly exaggerated missives on life once I post them and then tell me if it is a.) sucky, b.) not-so-sucky, c.) not silly enough.

Requirements: Ability to coat the horrible truth in a nice dusting of vanilla sugar, lift and carry 25 lbs and stand for long periods of time, are really good at tickling my back, have red hair, and a devilishly handsome smile.

Speaking of The Holbs, the other night The Holbs went to bed with an unopened can of Rockstar by his head, the memory of which has made me giggle all day. This is all because The Holbstar takes his calling in the Young Mens program seriously, and in an effort to "get into the heads" of the youth in his jurisdiction he has decided to watch this show Avatar that all the 14-year-old boys are raving on about.

In the interest of honesty I should report that it is basically Captain Planet, and is as such pretty stupid in various ways, and so from time to time I will listen in just to come up with obnoxious things to shout out. There are approximately thirty zillion episodes to sit through and so most nights The Holbs is watching and I am heckling until well past midnight. Suddenly now we are all part-Vampire around here, what with the nighttime activities and the aversion to sunlight and an inability to make it to early morning activities (not to mention all of the sparkling and dazzling I do anyway on a daily basis).

Last night we finished the final episode around 1:30 and I didn't fall asleep until well past 3:00, only to be awakened at 4:00 by Barney barfing in the living room.

 Which is really neither here nor there.

The end.