On The 95 North

We were on the road headed to Pullman to visit the Palouse's one available ultrasound machine. And also pertinent to this story is that I had a very full bladder.

We arrived at the doctor's office right on time and I tripped on the stairs (Natalie's sense of balance = completely gone).

One thing nobody told me to expect was how warm that ultrasound gel would be. It squirmed my skin, and then the fetus gave a resounding kick, as if to say, let's get this party started already.

First we caught a glimpse of the fetus with one arm resting on his head. That maneuver, the forearm on the head, that is a Holbsclassic. It is how his arm behaves whenever he does anything.

As the scan continued, moving down the railroad tracks of his spine, pausing to take still images of his stomach, his heart, and his cute little kidneys, the fetus decided to wow us with a beautiful showcase of the hiccups.

And then we saw the waving flag of masculinity! And The Holbs stood just a little taller!

Later that day we were on the road again heading home after splitting an Effie's burger the size of a dinner plate with our friends the Carmans. The Holbs drove slower than your grandpa on date night. I was staring at one of the ultrasound images.

I was pondering his cute little face, when suddenly I realized that the baby has my head. Flat on top, round through the back, with a short, wide forehead.  

I took a photo and texted it to my mother.

Mom, who does this look like to you?

Within seconds my mother had texted back,

OMG, it's a Lovin! 

(Yes, "OMG." Who is this woman who is my mother?)  

I analyzed that little head in the car for what felt like hours, its familiarity and its foreignness, memorizing every curve of his head, his face, his teeny little arms and teeny little legs, searching for the "us" in him. And then suddenly I wasn't looking at a fetus at all. Suddenly I was looking at a person. 

My person. 

And I knew him. I knew it so hard and so fast that it took my breath right out of my chest.

I knew that he was mine.

Best drive on the 95 north I've ever taken.