THIS ONE GOES OUT TO ALL THE REDHEADS THAT I'VE MARRIED

... that would be my brandon.

sometimes husbands deserve a birthday post in their honor. it is what it is.

i generally like living with the holbs. he's a pretty funny cat. i used to call him the holbs but i don't really so much anymore. here are some of the better things he's said to me lately:

while watching a commercial for lays potato chips:

"who even eats potato chips? why do they even exist anymore? what if we deleted potato chips... like, replaced them with fruit.... my life would not change at all."

one night at 2AM when i was trying so hard to be asleep but huck was shouting for me, and i impaled my elbow on the doorknob so hard that i had no choice but to say some choice words:

"i feel like we should talk about your anger issues."

saturday evening while i was out at girl's night, via text:

"henry loves corn!"

one time while watching ice hockey:

"nobody noticed my new socks today. is this what it feels like to be a woman?"

in between bites of dinner one time:

"so, guess what i recorded for us tonight? two episodes of ...... bunheads!" 

(i guess you'd have to have seen the look on his face to really get this one. we're talking, like, legit excitement.)

one night when i was describing my monday morning ritual of running to the wifi cafe to write, then getting an egg and cheese bagel on my way home for lunch, 

"that is so carrie bradshaw of you."

here's one:
"wouldn't you love to live on an arugula farm?"

here's another one, which came one evening from the couch following a deep, soulful sigh:
"so, we maaaaaaay have to become brooklyn nets fans."

and now a cute story, with an aside in the middle you'll just have to power through, and then this post will be over.

so there is a hotel in town that brandon is positively obsessed with. he walks past it on his way to and from work every day. he nearly almost always sees at least one celebrity coming out of the lobby. it's like a game. we always text each other when we see a celeb there and keep a running tally of who's seen the best so far. i've seen alec baldwin, i've seen bryce dallas howard. that sort of thing.

the other day brandon saw bruce willis. BRUCE WILLIS! I WIN!
so, he won. 

one time we saw the dude who plays schmidt on new girl. my mom was with us, and brandon and i started employing that trick we use when one of us spots a celeb but wants to play it cool while still alerting the other one to what is going on so they can see the celeb too, and really we're pretty subtle about it, but my mom could tell something was up but not what exactly, and she got so frustrated by us not telling her why we were wobbling our elbows all weird that she finally shouted, "WHAT IS GOING ON!???!" in the middle of the street right next to schmidt! and then we had to shush her and giggle like silly people until we were out of earshot, though i'm sure schmidt would have been cool about it because he seemed really cool. and so, yeah.

right so one afternoon while i was writing up a storm in the wifi cafe across the street, brandon suddenly appeared at my side, grinning like a cheshire cat. 

"of all the cafes in all of manhattan!" he said.

he'd been given the day off for good behavior and decided to hunt me down. 

next he went to stand in front of this favorite hotel of his for a while to see who all he could see. he'd heard a rumor that american idol was taping nearby, so he was feeling lucky.

fifteen minutes later, he texted me this:

what up, DOG!

and then after that in quick succession, these:

so, that's my husband for you. 

when he puts his mind to something, when he puts his mind to seeing randy jackson, he sees randy jackson AND he sees nicki minaj AND he sees keith urban too.

because the universe will stop whatever it is doing to deliver for my husband.

because my husband is a hero, that's why.

THUS CONCLUDES THE BRANDON PORTION OF BIRTHDAY SEASON.