IN WHICH WE TAKE OVER NATALIE'S BLOG

Ratting out the 'Rat

guest blogging by: Kristen Jex (in partnership with Brandon Holbrook)

I'm Kristen. One of Nat's besties. Occasional personal hairdresser. Weekly babysitter. Musician, Writer, Exotic Half-Japanese Beauty, etc. 

I never read Natalie's blog, (luckily she doesn't mind) but I suspect all you readers out there aren't getting the full spectrum of what is known about Natalie Holbrook. So I am writing an exposé unbeknownst to Natalie even before I beg her to post this, in hopes that you may also enjoy knowing all her weird secrets.  

1) There are no tissues. Anywhere. Her place does not have tissues. Or paper towels. Or napkins. It's awkward in the instance that you sneeze and there's a lot of snot and someone's in the bathroom. Otherwise excellent for the environment.

2) This is how much Dr. Pepper there is in the fridge at all times, not even kidding. I often catch her pulling out a bottle like it were a flask and taking a quick swig in Sacrament meeting. 

3) I know this isn't a weird secret, but I'm myth-busting. Her kid really is as cute and adorable as he is in all the pictures that are probably littered around this blog. His laugh is so cute. I don't know what to do with all the cuteness that explodes out of his face. I usually just succumb to another round of “Ring Around the Rosie” for the millionth time before I pass out. 

4) I've never seen her socks match.

5) I know a girl's gotta have her shoes, but Nat's closet is LEGIT. I ain't never seen so many shoes! 

6) She's really into eye protection. Apparently. I think there's 11 pairs? Is this normal? I don't even know.

7) She never fails to update me on how her stomach is doing whenever we converse. Her insides are strangely indicative of how her life is generally going. Her stomach is like her sixth sense or something. I could pick her up, shake her around a little, and her tummy would probably reveal one of 12 responses like a magic eight ball.

8) I have looked and looked and I can never find a tampon in her bathroom! I don't know where she hides those things. One day I will need one. I must find out where she keeps them. 

9) She frequently finds clothes for Henry in the girl's section. (!)

10) After a hard day's work her eyelashes retire in the following fashion: 

If you've never watched Parks and Recreation I don't know what's wrong with you. Seriously, get on that. Because I'm about to compare Natalie Holbrook to Leslie Knope. 

Natalie is totally into strong female role models and is one herself. She is professional, courteous, well-accomplished and ever beautiful to the world, though behind the scenes, hopelessly flawed, concerned about every single freaking thing on the planet, stubborn, and at times adorably mistaken. Nat has a giant, vulnerable, passionate heart, and also like Leslie, is overly in love with whipped cream.

I'm not a mom (instead I have two ferrets that I take very seriously), so I don't know much about parenting. I gather it's hard. I'm not about to tell you how Natalie does it all, because she doesn't. She gets through the day, you know. So as you look at her pictures and read through her life, know that there's not a whole lot of difference between her and you other awesome moms/gals out there (except for all the strange ass quirks I just mentioned above).

Sorry I rummaged through your stuff and always eat all your snacks, 

Love, Kristen