ALL UP IN THIS PLACE LATELY

It's been a quiet, low-key December over here at Camp Holbrook. 

I think this is going to go down in my life as the time where all I could do was exist. And not terribly gracefully, either. But I'm getting through it. That's all this is over here. Take the day as it comes and try to remind myself hourly that this isn't forever, my motivation will come back, that this is just me on hormone treatments, and once it ends I'll be back to my real me again, unless of course the hormones end successfully, in which case I'll be back to me, but only me pregnant. 

That would be rad.

("This is your brain on Pregnant. Any questions?")

I've been thinking a lot about the concept of limbo. I ain't never been Catholic but I think I might be limbo's champion subscriber just the same. At this point I am a full-on bubble of waiting. W-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aiting. Every decision that pops up before me has two separate answers, each of which depends on something happening--or not happening--inside my uterus. 

Does this make my reproductive system Purgatory?!!?

Come January Something-or-other I'll know definitively what the rest of my year will look like but until then, I'm just a grab bag of maybes right now. I don't know. Maybe? Maybe this, maybe that? 

Ooh, and ifs!

Don't you love ifs??

If / then scenarios are totally my jam right now. 

Huck the Great and Terrible continues to be both great AND terrible, in somewhat equal measures.

His favorite thing to hear around the house these days is, "I'm your mom, I'm not supposed to be nice." 

My favorite is, "The more you say 'yes, mom,' the more *I* can say 'yes, Huck.'"

Another of Huck's favorites is, "Do it now. NOW. Right now. NOW." It ranks right up there with "because," which I like to sing at him a la Wizard of Oz when he's really asking for it (because because because because becaaaaaaaaaaause!). It makes him CRAZY.

You can use that one for free! And for that my friends you are welcome!

This is my question: Does your husband like to have the radio on inside the house AT ALL HOURS? 

My husband is super into the radio. I don't even know if he likes to listen to the radio or if he just likes to have the background noise, but it's on. IT IS ALWAYS ON. Most times when it's on, he'll run upstairs for something, get distracted and stay a while, and then frown at me if, while he has been away, I happen to turn it off.

So that is what Brandon is up to lately.

What is wrong with me but having the radio on makes me feel all jangly in my brain! It's really fine during Christmas when the stations all play jingly Christmas songs and stuff (the same ones OVER AND OVER), but once we're back to easy listening and Santana collaborations imma have to get drastic over here. I mean it!

I want to have words with you about the John Tesh show though. Lord help me but I can't help myself. I love it. I am telling you I can feeeeeeel myself getting smarter. Intelligence for LIFE!! 

Also. John Tesh > Delilah. 

Have we ever talked about Delilah?

Anyway, I have opinions.

We like to make giant excursions out of any time we need to drive down to Lewiston or Clarkston for something. That drive down the grade is just the most beautiful thing when the sun is setting over the Snake River. Most recently our excuse was picking up the Jeep once her repairs were finished. (On our way out Huck said, "Oh man! I was hoping they were gonna paint it green!") We celebrated Suzie Q 2's return to the Holbrook Land of the Living with Fazzari's pizza and a Costco trip. 

Fazzari's pizza is a little bit weird, BUT THE HOLIDAY ATMOSPHERE CANNOT BE BEAT. 

Get the shotzi--it's got mustard and sauerkraut on it. It's weird. Pass on the taco one.  

You know, if ever you find yourself in my neck of the woods. Hah! Hah. #wompwomp

We went to a holiday party with some of Brandon's coworkers and once again, my macaroons. It always surprises me the amount of compliments I get. The recipe came from the back of the bag! You should make them. Here is the recipe:

One package shredded coconut

Four egg whites

1/2 tsp almond extract

6 tbsp flour

2/3 cup sugar

Dash of salt

Mix, plop on a baking sheet, bake at 325 for 15 minutes.

I'm not kidding you, they FLY off the plate. We like to drizzle melted chocolate on top.

But what you've REALLY come here for is an update on my girlies! I know! I know what you're after!

WELL.

We had a situation a bit ago wherein we thought one of our twins* had gotten lost. Or eaten. My money was on eaten. 

Here's how this happened. 

Well, soooo, these days the girlies get themselves situated in the coop all cozy for bedtime on their own. I just run up after dark to make sure they're all accounted for and to tell them how proud I am to be their mommy. 

(Sometimes I impart words of wisdom, like, "BE NICE TO THE BABIES, CUDDLES." or "STAY OFF THE FENCE, LINDA.") 

So the other night when I went up the hill I counted one-two-three-four, four Ladies, good girls! Cuddles by the window because she's the boss, Toots and Tiny Tim like to assume the submissive position around me so I give them lots of snuggles, and then I counted the babies, who like to sleep all four all on top of each other in one tiny nesting box which they also happen to like to poop in. 

The babies are disgusting. 

But seriously, they toilet trained themselves. They poop in two nesting boxes that they've designated as pooping boxes, aaaaaaas well as on my welcome mat. 

"One-two-three," 

I'm counting babies, stay with me here, ". . . wait, where's four? Guys! Where's the **other twin baby?"   

I hunted for her around the yard in the dark for a while. Nowhere! What happened? Neighbor's cat? Hawk? Definitely she got eaten. I was grateful it wasn't Hillary Clinton, because I love that Hillary Clinton, and then I felt guilty for having a favorite baby, and then I figured I just counted wrong? So I went back in. 

Guys I went back in twice for a recount. I lifted babies out of poop and set them down back into poop, I searched all the nooks and crannies and corners and straw lumps, I even asked Linda if she'd seen where she went (not helpful), but no dice. She was gone. I am telling you, she was gone.

The following day I kept them locked in the coop just in case whatever'd nabbed the baby was going to come back for seconds, and then the day after THAT I went back into the coop, and suddenly there were just four babies again? What, did she sneak in through the window!?

Soooooo that's my story. 

*The twins are named Venus and Mars, and I can't tell which is which.

**Though it was most likely Mars. Back when Mars had freckles and I could tell her apart from Venus, she was always busting out of the brooder, and I usually had to scoot her out from behind the washing machine using the back of a broom handle. She's our troublemaker. I expect eye-liner and angsty poetry here any day now.

But look at all those pretty eggs! I can't wait until Ice Cream starts laying. She's an Ameraucana and is supposed to churn out blue-green eggs. Maybe even pink! 

Oh shoot what else . . . 

Well, we've had sun . . . 

. . . we've had rain . . . 

. . . we've had snow.

Oh! AND I made the world's first perfect pancake ever to come from my house! (It was exciting.)

And now I'm about to do the dishes.

Holbrook status report, over and out.