DRESS ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS

above: covert ops documentation, and my attempt at replicating sans lint brush

All Titanic references aside, I promised I would return + report on the sartorial situation over in France and I am here to fulfill! A WHOLE YEAR LATER! (Up next I'm scouring the Internet for what all's available to pull this look off with.) (clunkiest sentence ever?) This is a post I have been equally excited + stumped about writing. Because on the one hand, IS THIS NOT THE MOST FUN THING TO TALK ABOUT EVER!? And because on the other hand, I'm well aware of the danger of sounding like a complete idiot France fan-girl here. But do not worry! This is a risk I am willing to take. Oh yes! Here, allow me to sacrifice myself on this altar of willing-to-be-silliness, all in the name of fashion, beauty, and of appearing, like, really super cool and junk. I'll take the heat, you waltz off looking real French, okay?

So now here she is, your quintessential French girl in Paris according to my eyeballs and my iPhone, both of whom are terribly reliable sources, I assure you. (I also utilized my powers of Pinterest to provide a few visual aids.) (I know, isn't this thrilling?)

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BASKETS/

First of all let me make this much clear: No other footwear is allowed on your feet. Only "baskets." Baskets is the preferred term for sneakers over there. Aren't you getting smart from this post? Nobody wears anything else, I'm not even exaggerating. The guys, the girls, in sneakers. Sneakers sneakers sneakers, no socks, thank you. And pants cropped to show off your slender ankles (jealous).

You know, we called them tennis shoes where I grew up in Arizona. The first time I used that term in Connecticut when I moved there in middle school, the all kids looked at me like I was speaking . . . well, French. So it's baskets, like basketball. I'm assuming. Not a huge reach. 

I saw a lot of Stans, Bens, Jordans, Keds, Persols, Jacks, Pumas, Chucks (mostly on the teens), New Balance, Nikes (many Nikes), and just one Reebok but it was the Reebok to end all Reeboks because it was the exact Reebok I had when I was eleven and I remember thinking they were my favorite shoes ever because it felt like I was walking in marshmallows. 

All of these baskets I saw looked fully worn + loved + trashed. So go find a mud puddle? I'm just kidding. 

TOPS/

Granted it was winter-y out, but the chunky sweater reigned supreme as most popular option. I also saw oversized men's white button ups, slouchy baseball tees, and crew neck tees. Your color options go black, white, tan, gray, brown, or, if you're feeling really exciting, navy. 

Give these a try.

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BOTTOMS /

Aside from your classic skinny jeans, the denim look skewed a lot bit mom jeans, to be honest. Baggy, lighter wash, cropped. I also saw more than a couple khakis, also worn cuffed + baggy. Pleated fronts. Final vestiges of #normcore perhaps? Pretty much anything pants-wise goes so long as it looks like it's prepared for a flood.

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SPRING COATS/
Cocoon-y, menswear-y, wool-y, oversized. Not that it matters, hashtag is it summer yet?

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SCARVES/

Oui oui, there was definitely a scarf situation going on over there, a situation that I don't fully understand, I'll admit. As an experiment one afternoon I paid attention to nothing but scarves for a good chunk of time, and I have to tell you, it's just, scarves. Errwhrre. The men seemed to sport shorter, chunkier scarves looped together like this (thanks, George), while the women went more pashmina / cashmere / linen / cotton in all kinds of draping methods, in solid colors mostly. And by "colors" I mean varying shades of navy and brown. :)

Okay sorry, two more hot guys in scarves. Sorry. Carry on.

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HAIR/

Appropriate hair styles seemed to come parted down the center, visibly unbrushed, messy as the day is long. Often pulled to the back à la half pony up there. I saw one set of bangs, and only two short cuts above the shoulder. Take from that what you will. 

I kid you not none of this hair had seen a brush in days, it was awesome. 

(As for whether or not said hair is washed terribly frequently, well, I didn't ask to sniff anyone's head so your guess is as good as mine ;). 

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FACES/
Bushy brows. NO MAKE UP. Like, how do these women walk around all day without their eyelashes on? I can't freaking go to the grocery store feeling like a full human without my eyelashes on. Geez.