GET ME DRESSED / I STOPPED KEEPING TRACK

tee, coat, jeans, shoes, bag

This is an ode to the kind of men's v-neck shirts you can buy in six packs at the grocery store. 

I call it: 

DEAREST DUDEMAN TEE SHIRTS /

dearest dudeman tee shirts

by natalie holbrook

dearest dudeman tee shirts

unfortunately, i have stained two of you already

with mysterious substances 

that i am guessing are watermelon

but, dearest dudeman tee shirts

fortunately, you cost next to nothing

and i can always get more of you

the next time i am at the walmart needing some milk

which is also when i pick up more yarn

almost without thinking about it

which is also why i own

mysteriously

more than four skeins 

of the same ugly off-white color 

that i thought was a good idea at the time

four times

a thought which has yet

to be proven

true

even

once

dearest dudeman tee shirts

you come in a bag, 

and you come taped together

and you peel the tape off

and i always wonder why

and you really only look best the day after a washing

but who is too lazy to prewash a shirt?

the kind of girl who is too lazy to buy shirts that do not come in plastic bags

to begin with

and that girl

would

be

me

-fin

Instant classic.